


Once More With Feeling

by flashforeward



Category: Dark Tower - Stephen King, The Dark Tower (2017)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Dysfunctional Family, Dysfunctional Relationships, F/M, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-15
Updated: 2017-08-19
Packaged: 2018-12-15 13:25:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11806878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flashforeward/pseuds/flashforeward
Summary: Roland and Walter have had a rocky on again off again relationship for years. They're off again now, and Walter is taking it out on their friends during their D&D campaign. It's frustrating and annoying and no one wants to put up with it but it's going to take a lot to get Roland and Walter to actually deal with their shit instead of ignoring it.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> _title subject to change_

****

**After**

> **X19xgunslingerx19X:** What _was_ that?  
>  **sh.ine.on:** i think he wants us all to die.  
>  **X19xgunslingerx19X:** i get that, but what's the draw? what's fun about killing all the players?  
>  **sh.ine.on:** it's walter. p. sure his thought process doesn't extend beyond pure malice.

Roland heaved out a sigh and sat back in his chair, hands hooked behind his head, rereading Jake's words over and over. He had to admit, the kid was probably right. Stephen, their previous DM, had fallen ill and Walter and stepped up a little too eagerly. Now it seemed the only reason was so he could torment the players and try to kill their characters at every turn.

Especially Roland's.

Walter _had_ been holding a grudge since they broke up, but Roland hadn't expected him to work out his anger during D &D. Then again, Walter wasn't the healthiest when it came to emotions, so maybe Roland' shouldn't have been so surprised. Still, he didn't have to take it out on everyone. His problem was with Roland, he should suck it up and deal with Roland not work out his frustration by being the most antagonistic DM possible.

Not that Roland was about to suck it up and tell Walter that...

> **X19xgunslingerx19X:** what do we do?  
>  **sh.ine.on:** you mean besides actually addressing what's really bothering walter?  
>  **X19xgunslingerx19X:** yeah let's pretend that's not an option.  
>  **sh.ine.on:** *eyeroll* or you could just stop having a macho-off and talk to each other.  
>  **X19xgunslingerx19X:** told you. not an option. so what do we do?  
>  **sh.ine.on:** we survive

Roland laughed. It was more breath than sound and he wasn't amused but impressed. Jake had a stubborn streak to rival both his own _and_ Walter's. Combined. Which was damn impressive. By far the youngest of their D &D group, Jake had pretty much had to fight his way in. He wouldn't take no for an answer. Not when he wanted to join, and not when Stephen tried to veto his idea for making his character a Seer. But Jake had combed the handbook and presented Stephen with exactly which class and spells would work the best and won that argument. Now he was coming up on his second year playing with Eddie, Odetta, Roland, and Walter and he was still enjoying it.

Except for this whole Walter as a DM thing. Walter was a fine player. He had a tendency to make his characters true neutral and and be annoying as hell to everyone else, but when push came to shove he stood by his team mates. Usually. There were a few previous games - from long before Jake joined - that were never talked of because it generally ended in no one except Stephen speaking to Walter for months at a time.

But Walter as a DM... Well that was turning out to be disastrous for everyone. At their most recent session, he had sicked a murder train on them. And was visibly disappointed when Jake and Eddie figured out how to stop it. Thankfully Walter wasn't enough of an asshole to change his own rules midway through, but Roland could tell he wanted to. Surviving Walter was not going to be easy, and Eddie and Odetta were not going to enjoy it.

But Roland _was not_ going to discuss things with Walter.

When he and Walter were on they were beautiful. It felt like the world could come for them and it wouldn't matter because they had each other. It was sappy and breathtaking and it was so easy to get lost in each other and forget everything else. But it couldn't last. It never lasted and when they were off. When they were off it was like an explosion. Fights and blow outs and collateral damage.

Roland just had to resign himself to the fact that their campaign was going to take a hit.

> **X19xgunslingerx19X:** sorry, man  
>  **sh.ine.on:** *shrugs*

Roland blew out a chuckle. Jake was used to him and Walter. He'd been with them through every honeymoon phase and every blood stained breakup. Roland knew Jake thought he and Walter were awful for each other, but he was grateful Jake never actually said anything about it. He let them make their own mistakes - most of which were one another - and he was there when it all went to shit.

Because it always all went to shit.

Roland had met Jake when they'd been paired together by the big brother/big sister program. It had been his mother's idea to sign up, insisting Roland had a lot to offer. Roland hadn't been so sure, but somehow he and Jake and clicked immediately and they'd become one of the program's favorite success stories. Not to mention close friends.

Which was _why_ Roland could talk to Jake about this, about Walter and his anger fueled antagonistic DMing and what it meant for the campaign. What it meant for Odetta and Eddie and his own friendship with them - they weren't going to be happy. They had every right to be angry. But they knew as well as anyone that Roland and Walter were never actually going to address their problems.

Because every time they tried, they just fought.

But Odetta and Eddie didn't see the draw. They didn't know what pulled Walter and Roland together over and over again. Jake. Jake who had been there since the beginning. He knew. He got it in a way Eddie and Odetta never could. A way even Roland wasn't sure he understood - though that might just be Jake's own strange prescience.

> **sh.ine.on:** you're going to get back together, aren't you?

Roland was about to reply when another message window popped up, startling him. He'd forgotten he hadn't made himself idle, as he usually did when he went online these days. It was better than dealing with...

> **blackismycolor:** wanna fuck?  
>  **X19xgunslingerx19X:** decidedly not  
>  **blackismycolor:** suit yourself. you complaining to the kid about me?  
>  **X19xgunslingerx19X:** not everything is about you, walter.  
>  **blackismycolor:** you are.  
>  **_blackismycolor is no longer available_**

> **X19xgunslingerx19X:** no  
>  **sh.ine.on:** ...  
>  **X19xgunslingerx19X:** we're not.  
>  **sh.ine.on:** i think you should.  
>  **X19xgunslingerx19X:** ...  
>  **sh.ine.on:** not the way you are now. but like. if you actually worked through your shit?  
>  **X19xgunslingerx19X:** have you met walter?  
>  **sh.ine.on:** you aren't any better at this than he is, gunslinger.

_Gunslinger_. The nickname Jake gave him early on, after Roland had taken him to the shooting range for one of their first outings. He only used it sparingly, only when he really needed Roland to listen.

_Fuck._

> **X19xgunslingerx19X:** is everything okay?  
>  **sh.ine.on:** they're fighting again. whatever. doesn't matter. i have homework.  
>  **X19xgunslingerx19X:** Jake.  
>  **_sh.ine.on is no longer available_**

"Fuck." 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i gave myself walter feels so now you get them, too.

****

**BEFORE**

"Fuck," Walter groaned out, his body falling limp beside Roland's, breath hot on Roland's skin. "Fuck."

"We just did," Roland said. "Don't have the energy to do it again."

Walter's laugh was raw and real and it made Roland's heart soar. It was rare these days for Walter to be so open and honest around him. Around anyone, really, but Roland had thought he was breaking down that barrier. Finally seeing the truth Walter fought so hard to hide. He was all performance and Roland wanted honesty, _needed_ honesty, and moments like this he thought he was finally getting it.

"The great Roland Deschain can't go all night?" Walter asked, lips inches from Roland's ear. He pressed kisses along Roland's jaw, teeth grazing against skin, tongue following to ease the sting. Roland groaned and his hips shifted, bucking up, but his cock - now wrapped loosely in Walter's rough hand - remained soft. "Can't get it up, old man?"

Roland grunted and slipped his own hand down along Walter's abdomen, running his fingers light and teasing over his thigh, tugged none to gently at his balls, then cupped his cock. Flaccid. Limp. "You aren't doing any better," he whispered before turning his head and catching Walter's lips with his.

Who needed fucking when kissing was just as good?

Roland resolved not to say that to Walter, who was not sappy and romantic. Roland wasn't actually sappy and romantic either but kissing Walter was that good. They meshed. Seemed to melt into one another, lips and tongues and hands and skin. They didn't need to have sex to feel that orgasmic high.

But when they did.

" _Fuck_ ," Roland breathed.

"We already covered this," Walter replied, pulling away, laughing. He lay back and stared up at the ceiling, one hand resting on his chest, the other on Roland's thigh. "But I appreciate the sentiment."

Roland could hear his smirk. " _Fuck you_."

"You did, it was glorious." Walter shifted onto his side, pressing close to Roland, his head resting on Roland's shoulder.

Roland stayed still, his hand resting on Walter's where it still lay on his own thigh. He waited, afraid to move, afraid to break this moment of tenderness. Roland wasn't tender where people could see. But Walter. Walter just plain wasn't tender. If Roland so much as hinted that they were having a 'moment' - as Walter would put it - Walter shut down. 

So Roland waited until Walter's breathing slowed, until he unconsciously relaxed, before he wrapped an arm around Walter and pulled him close, holding him.

What wall, he wondered, had Walter built so strong that even after all these years Roland could not peek through?


End file.
